Really?!!

Dear person(s) who stole my identity,
If you're going to be a criminal, please be a smart one. Especially if a lot of prep work is involved.
So you're living life in the fast lane, you're too cool for the rules, and you make your money by being a scam artist. I get it. And if you were any good at it, I might even have to give in and applaud you for a job well done.
This is where I have the problem. You targeted me. And while, yes, it does suck for me, this isn't even the reason I'm irritated. What annoys me more than anything is that you chose ME - a single, 23 year old woman who works in NON-PROFIT, drives an economical albeit adorable Ford Focus that she doesn't even own yet, shops the sale racks, and who is paying off college debt. It's really a simple case of ROI - return on investment for those of you who were snoozing during that economics class you dropped out of, hence making a life of crime your only viable option - I mean, if you're going to do all the work to steal someone's identity, wouldn't you want to find someone who was WEALTHY?!!
This is Las Vegas we're talking about. Millions are made here every day. Probably every hour of every day. There are people who wouldn't notice that a thousand dollars was missing, or that a couple thousand were unaccounted for. They'd chalk it up to a new purse or a set of golf clubs, and would never think twice about it.
I, on the other hand, DO notice a thousand dollars. Quickly. And furthermore, your choice of purchases boggles me. You dropped a grand at Toys R Us? Really? This leads me to the conclusion that either A.) You're 9 - in which case, I retract my earlier statements and I admit that I am, in fact, completely impressed, or B.) You have the worst taste ever! If you're old enough to open a credit card, what could you possibly want at Toys R Us that amounts to $1,000? Are you sitting in your living room on inflatable furniture playing Donkey Kong??? If you're going to use my name and credit to buy things, at least make them things I'd not blame you for buying. Had you made your purchase at Christian Louboutin or on a plane ticket to Tahiti, I'd have commended you. I'd have said, 'good thinking, criminal person!' But Toys R Us? Why, I ask you. Why?
I even had a moment where I thought, well, maybe this was someone who couldn't afford presents for their kids, and they were just trying to give them a happy childhood. Desperate times call for desperate measures. But then I remembered, IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS! Children do not need a THOUSAND dollars worth of presents to celebrate the month of September starting! And the children who do get such lavish gifts have parents who don't need to steal someone's identity!!!
So now I leave you with these parting thoughts, just as I said to the people who stole my car stereo and then LOCKED MY CAR DOORS, without stealing the actual car --- think these things through. Get the most bang for your buck, or, in this case, the most bang for MY buck...